Three Rules of Playing The (Health) Field

Over the last decade, I have flirted with countless physical, emotional, and spiritual health niches. From yoga to cardio; from depth psychology to mindfulness-based stress reduction; from acupuncture to reiki; And from Weight Watchers to The Brain Diet, I truly have been playing the field. Some I sized up and let go, others I spent more quality time with. Those I deemed worthy, I introduced to friends and, when appropriate, to clients. What I've learned is that there are a few solid rules that are helpful to abide by, no matter what area of health and healing you are considering allowing into your life.

1. Focus on the positive.

You get better results when you  focus on adding something constructive to health rather than on subtracting something undesirable:

Add a 30-minute walk to your day, a 60-minute class to your week, or a 10-minute stretch before bed (instead of aiming to watch fewer hours of television).

Add more deeply colored vegetables to your plate, more vitamins and minerals from various food sources and more local and seasonal produce (as opposed to subtracting processed foods and meals that offer high calories and low nutrients).

It may feel doable to add a 5-minute mindfulness exercise upon waking, to start the conversation (with yourself or others) about calling a therapist, or to write a daily affirmation on a post-it note (instead of trying to will yourself to feel less anxious, sad, or self-critical).

We have a tendency to erroneously assume that concentrating on what we don't want will keep us focused on our goals, when the focal point often remains on the very thing we don't want (and its accompanying entourage of feelings—Guilt, Shame, Irritation, and Co.). Try adding what you do want and notice how that nudges the undesirables out of your life. 

2. Go slow and be prepared for the discomforts of detoxification.

If someone had been using alcohol or heroine on a daily basis and simply stopped, he would be at-risk, not of discomfort, but of death. This is because the body grows dependent on the substance to keep its balance. Remove that substance and the body doesn't know what to do with itself. One needs proper pacing and supervision to safely detox.

While not necessarily as severe, the same concept goes for changing health habits of any kind. Whatever you have been doing—eating low-fiber foods, being more sedentary than you desire, or calling yourself nasty names—you have likely been doing it for a while. And while the negative affects are there, you have adjusted to them.

By engaging in something different you are going to purge and that purge just might be nasty before it's awesome. I invite you to imagine what would happen if you suddenly ate the recommended amount of servings of fruits and vegetables after you've been living a life full of mashed potatoes, or if you up and ran a marathon after years of not being able to touch your toes. What if, in one sitting, you suddenly let in all the hurt you'd been holding back? Each of these scenarios would lead to some form of system overload and feelings of dis-ease.

So do yourself a favor, and go slow. If you are noticing that you need help with pacing, shove an elbow in Pride or Shame's side, and ask for it. If you don't, they might introduce you to their friend Self-Sabatoge, who is a sneaky and powerful force, and tends to show up right when you are on the verge of something pivotal. Whether you are attending to your health as a solo project or with support(s), the simple act of remembering that unpleasantness may be part of the process can go very far in sustaining positive growth.

3. Kiss and tell appropriately.

It is exciting to find something that works for you. Like really exciting. Kind of like falling in love, you may be tempted to shout from the mountaintop “Pilates changed my body”! Or, “My therapist just gets it”! The more woowoo domains are somehow even more compelling. “It turns out my heart chakra was just blocked! Yours may be too”!

I am obviously a huge proponent of spreading the word about self-care and health, especially in the more taboo domain of mental health. Just remember, everyone's process is different, as is their comfort level, as is their tolerance for unsolicited advice. Even starting a sentence with “What worked for me...” as opposed to “You should definitely try...” can go far in actually being able to share your message.

What I notice is that when we start paying attention to our health needs in a way that makes for meaningful changes, we walk around shining a little brighter. Let that light draw others to you, and then share your secrets.