San Francisco is vibrating with the energy of human rights supporters. Two days ago thousands marched for same-sex marriage equality here, and a quick search tells me smaller marches took place around the globe.

Then there's the cyberworld, which is visually showing its support with various images and symbols. It's pretty moving. 

I would say that actively supporting something you believe in is a Wellness Tool in and of itself. Between building community, fostering connection, and working towards something bigger and better for current and future generations, the enriching qualities of such movements are vast.

But people's inclination to show support and to empathize with those with fewer rights than themselves also got me thinking about one of my favorite forms of meditation, called Metta, which translates to loving-kindness. It involves first bringing loving-kindness to yourself, and then sending it to other(s). Below is a snapshot (a more thorough guide can be found through the Metta Institute website), followed by a 30-minute guided video:

1. Find a comfortable position in a quiet space. Take a few deep breaths and invite your mind to be still.
2. Repeat silently to yourself, "May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease."
3. Call to mind a person in your life (it's easier to start with someone who you care for and/or cares for you) and repeat silently to yourself, "May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease."
4. (Optional) Repeat with other people, including those who are more difficult for you to appreciate.
5. Simply notice how it feels to invite these thoughts to yourself and to send them to others. Enjoy!

What if I sat beside you whispering in your ear all my negative perceptions of you—every disappointing or regrettable situation from birth to the present, every loss or failure, and every judgment of your body and character? And when those distant voices of positivity, reframe, balance, and perspective came along trying to tell you something different I puffed my chest, got in their faces, and scared them into hiding? Wouldn't you think that was outlandishly mean and totally unacceptable?

Depression doesn't consider your life experiences, your history of loss or trauma, or your complicated brain chemistry, but simply calls you weak, self-centered, and beyond help. It also tells you that the only thing you can do with yourself is sit, lie, and stay, and last I checked you are a capable human being, not a dog. It tells you such things because it is brutal, narrow-minded, and dishonest. And you my friend are deserving of a well-balanced truth.

I know it feels like you cannot do anything. You feel like you're walking through mud. You are winded by a trip to the fridge. Your body hurts. But please don't listen to Depression's erroneous opinion that sitting still is the only answer. Consider that doing something is better than doing nothing. Go outside for a walk, even if it's only for three minutes. Listen to some new music or something you liked on a brighter day. Call a friend. Make the decision to seek help. 

Sometimes we try sitting still to conserve the minimal energy we have, when we can create new energy by exposing ourselves to novel stimuli. This may be counterintuitive, but at least it's honest.

Remember that if you have been doing nothing for a long time, doing something is going to feel different. Different may feel weird, at best, and scary-as-hell at worst. But don't let Depression trick you into thinking that different is wrong. (And don't you dare let it tell you that “something” could be lifting the remote, fork, cigarette, or something else that may have negative consequences. You know better.)

Be aware that if you opt for the phone-a-friend option, Depression might tell you that being alone is the best thing to do. It might tell you that your energy is toxic, that you are burdensome or overwhelming. To this I ask you to consider that the act of isolating a person from his or her community of support is characteristic of an abusive relationship.

You can choose to not succumb to this abusive tendency. I invite you to think of a time that you were there for someone else in a time of need. Did their suffering knock you over or were you able to stay grounded and have compassion for that friend? Perhaps you even found meaning in being of support? It is no different with you on the other side. This is what our friends and family are for. If you can't identify a person to reach out to in this moment, don't let Depression tell you that it is because you aren't worthy. Or that you are truly alone. Add it to your list of things to cultivate in your life. In the mean time, call a support line or a professional instead.

You of course are free to make your own decisions, but there is just one more thing I want you to consider. Just because the voice of Depression is loud, does not mean it is right.

Remember that the voices of positivity, reframe, balance, and perspective are not gone, but are simply hiding. You can take the steps, however small, to find a safe space for them to emerge.  

The other week I talked about reminding ourselves to "keep your eyes on your own work," a phrase I have repeated to myself numerous times since sharing, and one that others have reportedly found helpful. 

Inspired by this feedback (and the fact that it takes almost no time to try), today's Wellness Tool is an awareness mantra. A mantra is typically defined as either a phrase that's sacred and thought to invoke a spiritual power, or simply one that is repeated, so no matter what your belief system, using one can be helpful. The objective is to simply bring awareness to your thoughts, without judgment, and to greet them with a phrase. 

Now, I could go into the details of how our attachments to, judgments about, and erroneous stories created from our thoughts causes us undue suffering, but I actually don't think this would be necessary to start alleviating the ache (irritation, unease, blech) of that experience. If you have the desire to try something different, and have 3 seconds to spare, pause and repeat one of the following:

1. "I am not my thoughts."
2. "This is what it feels like to _____." (examples: This is what it feels like to worry, to have tense shoulders, to think too much, to suffer, etc.) This is inspired by Phillip Moffitt, Esquire CEO turned Buddhist practitioner and teacher whose daylong retreat I attended last year at Spirit Rock.
3. "Even though I _________, I accept myself completely." (examples: Even though I can't stop thinking about the mistake I made yesterday at work, I accept myself completely. Even though I gained five pounds, ...) This phrase (which is actually a kind of hybrid awareness mantra/affirmation) is the foundation phrase of Emotion Freedom Technique (EFT), an energy psychology technique involving tapping different areas of your body while saying specific statements. If this sounds a little too out there for you, fear not: In this context, it's a stand-alone sentence!

See how it feels to take pause and meet your thoughts with a kind and gently firm reminder. You will be surprised to find how many 3-second opportunities come your way every day...

I've been thinking lately about the power that small actions can have on well-being. Just as a smile or a kind gesture from another person can shift the course of your day, so too can an act of self-care positively affect your mood. 

There are countless ways to do this, so in an effort to share doable tricks with the masses, I am going to break it down. Every week I will post one tool that requires less than 30 minutes of your time to use. These are actions that you can choose to add to your day...or not. It's that simple. 

And I couldn't think of a better way to kick of Wednesday Wellness than to talk about kicking your feet up...the wall.*

That's right. Laying on your back, either on the floor or on a bed if it's against the wall, scootch your butt within a foot of the wall and swing your feet up. Your heels should rest gently against the wall. If your legs are tight you may need to move further back from the wall. Place your arms at your sides or above your head, whatever feels more comfortable. You may want to place a pillow beneath your head. 

Close your eyes and try to rest like this for 15 to 20 minutes. If you have less time, you have less time. When you are ready, slowly drop your legs to one side and sit back up. Take a moment to notice how your body feels.

I have recommended this intervention to countless clients--usually those experiencing anxiety and/or insomnia (this is great pre-bed-time ritual), and I do it myself as often as possible.

I learned this from Judith Lasater, a woman who has a firm grasp on her craft as an international yoga instructor, physical therapist, East-West psychology doctorate, writer, and big time proponent of nonviolent communication. The above image is of her book Relax and Renew: Restful Yoga For Stressful Times.


*If you have any medical conditions/injuries that would make this a no-no, respect them. Perhaps instead, you can take 15-20 minutes to simply lie silently on your back without interruption.