How to Find a Therapist, Step 1: Finding Clarity

So you have a sense that you could benefit from starting therapy, but the whole concept sounds pretty...big. 

Let's break it down so you feel like you know what you're asking for. Let's answer the question: “What do I need”? 

One sweet and simple way to answer this question is to ask yourself this: If I woke up tomorrow and was feeling better, what would be different? How would I know something had changed?

Here are some common responses:

If I woke up tomorrow and was feeling better . . .

. . . I would have more energy.

. . . I would not be obsessing about my relationship.

. . . I would put myself down less and feel more confident.

. . . I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed by my anger (sadness, jealousy, anxiety, etc.)

What comes up for you? 

Maybe you have a few smaller items, or a single glaring one. 

Maybe you're mad or uncomfortable that your attention is being called to things you'd rather not think about. Perhaps you feel hopeful at the prospect of feeling better or different.

Any response is a perfectly fine one. 

Now sit with what you came up with and consider that you've taken yet another step down the road towards getting support. You are clarifying the area on which you'd like to focus.

So let's fill in some more details about the services you seek. These are a few common questions I ask when helping people specify what they're looking for:

1. Do you see yourself talking with a man or a woman, or does it not matter to you?
   
   
2. Are there any other cultural considerations important to you (age, ethnicity, religion, etc.)?
   
   
3. Is convenience important to you – Would you rather see someone close to home or work?
   
   
4. What time of day do you see yourself going to a weekly appointment?
   
   
5. What's your budget and do you plan to use insurance?

(You may notice that I don't include a question about theoretical orientation or what “type” of therapist you want. This is because I believe there's a better way to get at that information, which I will talk about in a future post. I will also post on budget/insurance.)

So, putting it all together, at this point you may have something like this: 

I want to get help with being so hard on myself and never thinking I'm enough. I want to see a female therapist in either the Richmond or Laurel Village area, and don't care about age, ethnicity, or religion. I could go Monday or Wednesday afternoons, and can pay $120/ week using my PPO insurance, which will reimburse me for either an in- or out-of-network provider. 

And just like that, you're ready to start your search. 

You can dive in knowing what you already know, or next up, I'll offer some insight on great starting points.

Yours in wellness, self-care and compassion,

Shana

Have a question or comment? Feel free to share in the comments section.
​Think I may be the right fit for you? Feel free to email me at contact@shanaaverbach.com or call 415-963-3546.