Have you ever noticed that the tone in your voice of reason changes when talking to yourself, that gentleness and patience kind of hide out while harshness and “Should” statements take over? Or perhaps you neglect your needs altogether, but expect others to tend to theirs, and maybe you even help them? This is one of the most common patterns I have seen over time and I am certainly guilty of it myself.

Today's tool carves out one area on which to focus intention, and gets you there by pretending you are advising someone else.

Think of an obstacle or area of “stuckness” that has been present for you lately, anything from eating junk food to staying in a toxic friendship to hating your job. Now, think about whether you have ever given advice to someone in this same situation on how to cope or move forward. If you haven't, imagine that someone you care about is having the same struggle. 

What have you told someone else, or what would you tell someone facing this challenge? What energy would you send his or her way while giving your input? Would it be kind and in a voice of compassion? Now take your own advice and invite the same tone. As the “yeah buts...” and the “it's different becauses...” come up, put them aside until next week.

For those of us who operate better with a concrete template, here it is:

I, Shana Averbach, do solemnly swear to follow my own advice in the area of exercising every day this week and doing one thing at a time. I will do so because I believe it will make me feel more relaxed and focused. 

This may be challenging, but it'll be great to see what shifts as you try!